I spent a week in New York City with some close friends. We head over to Times Square, see the sites and whatnot, then decide to check out a mall we spotted. Surprisingly, this mall was nothing special; I expected everything in New York to be top-notch, but this mall turned out to be just as s****y as any other mall. Several of the stores were closed and it looked like the whole place was under renovation.
Anyway, I needed to head to the restroom, because I had the itchiest asshole that entire trip and had to make periodic trips to alleviate myself. I head over to the can by my lonesome, and planned to meet up with the others later.
Right when I get into a stall, I hear a very angry man shouting and slamming the doors on the other stalls. He’s screaming s**t like “where are you??” and making a big ruckus, then stops at my stall.
My god, it was the creepiest thing ever. I turn around to see a hand clutch the top of the stall and he tries to pull the door down as hard as possible. I could see his f*****g face; he looked like a cross between the Unibomber and Dale from “King of the Hill”. I’m standing there mid-wipe, terrified that this guy was gonna knife me or something.
So many thoughts ran through my head: “What do I do? Is he armed? Does he have a disease?” Could I take this guy?”
Thankfully, I heard a loud booming voice say “You better step away from that stall! That guy in there is gonna mess you up!” It was an NYPD officer. I have never been so happy to see a police officer. I hurried back to my friends and retell the story, but one of them starts to mock me: “Haha, Potato almost got r***d!” Just then, the NYPD drag the f*****g pervert through the mall and my friends catch a glimpse. I’ve been told the look on my face was priceless, and they immediately tried to reassure me that I could’ve taken him if it came to that.
In the words of my friend: “When I saw the look on your face, I knew you’d seen enough of New York!”
